I find Massimo's interpretation of Epictetus helpful: Epictetus suggests that those who fall into circumstances they wish to avoid are those who suffer misfortune, by which he means that much suffering comes from a disconnect between what you want to happen and what actually happens." I often sense that “disconnection" but don’t identify it as such and so, wallow in foggy unease with less ability to act on the “suffering."
“Aversion to failure” is also more actionable than the real but almost cliche phrase “fear of failure,” which is so limiting for so many.
A good reminder. I can only imagine the tranquility I would feel if I could truly live like this! I focused on desiring proper reactions and actions, tranquility when presented with unexpected news (I try not to add the value judgement “bad”), and my intentions. I should only be adverse to improper reactions/intentions rather than the events themselves.
I was working on my hospital example from last week.
I found that I had an aversion to receiving bad results from the exams at the hospital.
Thinking about the results of the exams was what preceded this aversion.
The conclusion I came to is that, instead of thinking about if the results were going to be positive or negative, I should’ve pondered on things in my control such as “ in case I need to have a surgery I’ll do X to get ready for my absence at work”.
I don’t think I’ve transferred an aversion though. I feel like even by planning out what I’ll do in case of a bad result, I’m still I’m thinking about the result…
Thank you dear Massimo for your teaching. I have been reading your books and listening to podcasts for years now, and believed that I was learning the right way to approach life. However, when my only child was murdered 3 years ago, I lost my was as a stoic. I could not find any helpful writing about grief and loss (losing a child is quite different from losing a job, etc). Today’s lesson, for me, does not address those life events that are profoundly life changing. I would appreciate your comments on loss and grief.
Reminds me of the 'Mind the gap' meditation: if something beyond one's control does not turn out as one wanted it to, it's best to pause and reflect before reacting!
I find Massimo's interpretation of Epictetus helpful: Epictetus suggests that those who fall into circumstances they wish to avoid are those who suffer misfortune, by which he means that much suffering comes from a disconnect between what you want to happen and what actually happens." I often sense that “disconnection" but don’t identify it as such and so, wallow in foggy unease with less ability to act on the “suffering."
“Aversion to failure” is also more actionable than the real but almost cliche phrase “fear of failure,” which is so limiting for so many.
Haha I’m aware.
It’s a good exercise. It makes one isolate the different actions/ feelings and think about them.
Thank you.
A good reminder. I can only imagine the tranquility I would feel if I could truly live like this! I focused on desiring proper reactions and actions, tranquility when presented with unexpected news (I try not to add the value judgement “bad”), and my intentions. I should only be adverse to improper reactions/intentions rather than the events themselves.
,Hi massimo,
I was working on my hospital example from last week.
I found that I had an aversion to receiving bad results from the exams at the hospital.
Thinking about the results of the exams was what preceded this aversion.
The conclusion I came to is that, instead of thinking about if the results were going to be positive or negative, I should’ve pondered on things in my control such as “ in case I need to have a surgery I’ll do X to get ready for my absence at work”.
I don’t think I’ve transferred an aversion though. I feel like even by planning out what I’ll do in case of a bad result, I’m still I’m thinking about the result…
Do you agree?
Should be “lost my way as a stoic”
Thank you dear Massimo for your teaching. I have been reading your books and listening to podcasts for years now, and believed that I was learning the right way to approach life. However, when my only child was murdered 3 years ago, I lost my was as a stoic. I could not find any helpful writing about grief and loss (losing a child is quite different from losing a job, etc). Today’s lesson, for me, does not address those life events that are profoundly life changing. I would appreciate your comments on loss and grief.
Reminds me of the 'Mind the gap' meditation: if something beyond one's control does not turn out as one wanted it to, it's best to pause and reflect before reacting!